Well, I will admit it… Yesterday was not one of my greatest days as a photographer. Yesterday I took time to edit, message, and reply back to past clients. I was on a roll! I was even able to schedule later blog posts for the future event I have already done. I was replying back to potential Brides. I was feeling wonderful about the flow of my work, while still being that stay at home Mommy for my family. Taking time to stop and play with my son, have lunch on the floor together with toys all around us, taking time to read and give him the proper attention he deserves.
But then… I get a message that hit like a sword to the chest. And all though no one needs to know the details. Just know that this has always been a fear of mine. A fear that all the hard work, love, and time I placed in to these images fell apart around me. And all though I knew I was safe, I knew my contract that was signed showed I had all the right and reasons for publishing my images I worked so hard for. Yet I still felt hurt, wronged, and belittled in so many ways after reading those messages.
You see… Any one who knows me KNOWS… I am a people pleaser. I try my hardest to make those around me happy, I want them to feel safe, and loved. And when I couldn’t do this for this one person… I felt little. It’s the only word I know to use right now. I felt so little like I wasn’t strong enough to help or fix something.
At that moment I knew I had to take a step back. I had to allow what feeling I was having to be there yet NOT take control over my mouth and hands to a key board. I knew that the burning feeling I was having, the fear coming to life, and the hurt from what I was reading was something I had no control over.
So I stepped away. I took deep breaths. I prayed. And prayed. I prayed. And I prayed. I asked our Lord to help me. To hold my tongue. To make sure my fingers don’t pound away at a key board with words I would NOT be able to take back. I begged God to let this be some bad joke. I begged God to show me how to make the best of this. I begged God to help pull me through this rough moment and time. I prayed that God would touch this clients heart and allow this client to help me understand better what was so wrong.
But when I returned to reply to these messages… there was nothing to be done. There was no way to help or fix what was done. No apology would help this person’s heart.
I had to accept the fact that was it.
And again I took a step back.
I asked myself… Did you do everything you could? Did you put your all in to your work? Did you show love? Did you approach with a soft heart and gods love? Did you deliver all that was asked of you and more? Did you treat this person the same as all your clients before? Did you deliver work you are proud of? Did you try your best 10 times over?
And without a shadow of a doubt I know in my heart I did EVERYTHING right !!! I know if I did it all over again… I would have captured, edited, deliver, blogged, posted, shared, and bragged about my amazing clients all in the same manner as I did the first time around.
You see… Even now after removing images, after trying to help understand and fix problems… I’m not mad. Yes I am upset. Yes I am sad. Yes I just wish I could help fix whatever it is I can’t read or understand in this clients heart. But at the end of the day… there was nothing I could do.
I know you all are probably asking yourself… WHY ARE YOU SHARING THIS ??? WHY ARE YOU ALLOWING FUTURE CLIENTS TO READ THIS ??? YOU WILL LOSE CLIENTS NOW !!! YOU WON’T GET ANY MORE BUSINESS !!!
Well… First of all… I wouldn’t be me if I wasn’t honest. I am sharing this to show that we all go through moments we have no control over. No matter the photographer or the clients we can NOT control everything. I am allowing future clients to read this to show that yes… I can’t make everyone happy. BUT, I know in my heart I gave my all. I show my work with pride. I want my ideal client to appreciate that and love that side of me. I want my future (even past) clients to see that we all have hard time. But with strength, prayer, and hard work you can over come anything in life. Even a sad moment in your business. Yes, I may lose potential clients! But you know what ??? That’s okay! Because I know that the clients I have or will have in the future will appreciate my openness and that side of me. They will love my work and know my heart is in every piece of work I capture, edit, blog, share, and work so hard for. And if from this moment on I do not receive any more clients… THAT’S OKAY! Silly to say I know. Maybe even stupid to some. But you know what? I’m being honest. I know my Lord has the best for me. He is using this as a light in me heart. As a way to make me better, stronger, and more closer to him in all areas of my life.
I will NEVER apologize for asking for help, prayers, words of wisdom. To me this is NOT a weakness. This is in fact a strength and power God has given us all. To know that no matter our paths. Our fears. Our goals in life. That no matter what comes along… We are to count on him FIRST AND ALWAYS! We can’t ever do anything in life without him. And if I was to not fully have a thrilled client in the end… That’s okay. Because I know I gave my all! And at the end of the day I gave it all to our Lord.
My photography is my passion. But it is NOT my life. It is NOT my all. My Lord. My family. My husband. My children. And most of all my faith in my Lord is all that matter in the world. Everything else is a plus…. And nothing more.
So yes… I choose to be honest and share a rough moment in my business… but in hopes to help and teach others… We are not made or defined by our passions in life. But are made and defined by our love and PASSION in our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!
BUT PLEASE DON’T GET ME WRONG… I LOVE MY CLIENTS! I WILL ALWAYS APPRECIATE AND CARE FOR ALL OF THOSE I WORK FOR… AND FOR ALL OF THOSE I HELP CAPTURE MEMORIES FOR. BECAUSE WITHOUT MY CLIENTS I WOULDN’T BE ABLE TO LIVE THIS DREAM OF MINE. SO I AM ALWAYS GRATEFUL AND WILL TRULY LOVE THOSE WHO TRUST ME TO CAPTURE THEIR MEMORIES FOR THEM.