I was standing there excited to work with my Bride and Groom again. A chance to capture their 1 year wedding anniversary session. The light was perfect, the warm air on a November afternoon, the way the sun shined through the trees was so beautiful. I made sure to check my battery to my camera, my memory card, and to make sure my settings were on point. I took a few quick pictures of the things around me and waited for my clients. I had so many ideas and poses running through my mind. I knew this was going to be a fun session. After all this Bride and Groom saw me when I captured my very first wedding. They hired me knowing I was new to the wedding world. So I was thrilled when they followed up with me for their 1 year anniversary.
The moment had come. They drove up and we greeted each other with hugs and smiles. As we were walking to the area I had planned to capture their session, we talked about their year together. We were catching up and smiling along the way.
It took a few minutes to get to where we were going to shoot their session. I made sure I spoke to them like I do all my clients. I showed them were to stand, gave them direction, and snapped away. Making sure my setting were still on point. I was thrilled to see the first image on my camera. As I spoke to them about how to move I snapped another image… And then I heard that awful sound.
My heart fell…
My body went warm…
My thoughts were darting all over the place…
And I told myself to check everything…
And from there I had realized my fears had come to life…
I hated having to look at my dear clients and tell them I had only captured 4 images. I hated having to explain I believe I just lost my camera. I hated more then anything having to see the looks on their faces as I apologized from the bottom of my heart.
Then like true AMAZING clients they are… They smiled and laughed. They weren’t angry (I’m sure disappointed though)… But they took this moment with grace, laughter, and told me it was okay.
All though I knew it was okay. The session could be rescheduled… I still felt awful. I wanted to cry and scream all at the same time. I wanted to snap my fingers and my camera would be fixed, new, and back in my hands so I could continue on with their session.
But that wasn’t the case…
The walk back to our cars was my longest walk ever. I felt ashamed and as if I did something wrong. As we made it back to our cars and said our goodbyes with plans to try again… I found myself wanting to cry and cry.
I walked to where my husband was parked waiting for me. I hopped in the jeep and felt all my fears rush around me. My camera had died… And I knew it.
After returning home and allowing the moments to rush past me… I was praying and praying it was an error on my part. That maybe, just maybe the settings were off, the battery wasn’t really charged, or that maybe it was a fluke and I just screwed something up. But none of that was the case. My cameras shutter button had died.
I was screaming in my head!
I knew I had a back up camera (Canon EOS Rebel xs). The one I used when I first started capturing sessions. But it just wasn’t the same. It was a ‘baby’ camera after all.
I knew the next day I had a family session… And that following Wednesday I had a military homecoming for a newlywed wife to capture. I knew I had families counting on me. And I was afraid I would be laughed at when I showed up to capture their memories.
But something in me SNAPPED! As I was praying and begging God to allow this to be a joke. I felt a calm rush over me. I knew I had this! I knew my camera, I knew her settings, I knew my job, and I knew my clients.
I KNEW I COULD DO THIS!
I was being pushed out of my comfort zone. God was pushing me back and showing me he was in control. I just had to have faith. I had to have confidence in myself and my work.
The Sunday family session came and I was challenged. But I prayed and reminded myself our Lord has me.
I kept reminding myself… I CAN DO THIS!
When I returned home that evening… I started to load my camera and her images to my computer. I was in shock at what I was seeing. I mean, I knew I did my best. But I was seeing more then I had expected. And two days later I had delivered my clients gallery to her. I waited for her reply.
And was in shock when a reply returned that my client was in love with them all.
I was pushed and challenged… I was pushed out of my comfort zone… And our Lord showed me I was not alone. He showed me I knew what I was doing… I just had to have faith in him… And faith in myself.
But then today rolled around. I woke up to having to capture a military homecoming with that same ‘baby’ camera. Again allowing fears to wash over me.
In the moments of this homecoming I watched photographers walking around with their BIG cameras and gear. I felt like a little child searching for acceptance around photographers who may have been laughing at me and my baby camera.
But in those moments I was proud of myself. I knew my settings and my gear I had with me. I knew that no matter what I would make this homecoming a beautiful memory and something to be proud of.
I was being remind again that our Lord was in control. And that I knew my gear was perfect for all I was capturing. I was reminded that my ‘baby’ camera wasn’t the end all, be all. It was only a few steps back.
And because of those steps back… I was forced to do and think outside of the box, outside of my comfort zone.
And I did….
I was proud…
And I was most thankful for clients who accepted my ‘baby’ camera…
For clients who trusted me and my photography…
I did my job… And did it with so much love…
So today had come and gone. I had survived. I had captured memories for a military family that I was most proud of! I captured memories that will last a lifetime.
I guess I’m sharing this blog to help show us all… That when we are forced out of our comfort zones we can still accomplish greatness!
After all I’ve always believed… It isn’t our gear that makes us great photographers. It is our love and passion for our clients that make us great!
So if you are happening to read this and feel defeated by your ‘baby’ camera, or set backs in your business. Please know you’re not alone! Use this challenge to better yourself. To better your passions. To better yourself.
This was the ONLY good image I was able to capture Saturday evening of my Bride and Groom. Then my camera said goodbye to me. 😦 I am left to only imagine the images that would have been captured on this beautiful day. ❤
Two images from the following day shooting with my ‘baby’ camera. And I was damn proud of these! 🙂
And these were from today’s homecoming. Using my ‘baby’ camera… Showing it can be done. 🙂 ❤